Last month, I visited Tokyo. Last week, I tried my luck in Las Vegas. People say Japan is an expensive place to visit. Obviously, they have never been to Vegas. You don't have to empty your Roth to eat in Tokyo. In Vegas, unless you want to eat Circus Circus buffets or Boardwalk hot dogs, you're gonna pay. Tokyo has history among it's technology; Vegas tears down history to build the next theme hotel. Tokyo has no kids because they just aren't having babies; Vegas has none because you don't wanna expose them to "Girls direct to you".
The people are also different. Vegas hosts people from all over the world looking for lady luck (or lucky with ladies). In Japan, there are tourists, but it's mostly homogeneous. The mix of Vegas makes it interesting, but there's one group that visits makes me wish Homeland Security were more strict on who they let off the plane. I am talking about DBs.
These people are easy to spot. Not only are they audibly loud, their attire is just as noisy. They love to wear the Ed Hardy. Love it. Vegas can get cold, but they still gotta show off the tight t-shirts printed with skulls and roses. (I asked Jon why he doesn't wear the Hardy. His reply: "No way, those t-shirts cost $100 bucks. I am not a magician.") To complete the wardrobe are fancy jeans (with crazy embroidery) and black dress shoes. To finish off the look, a shiny fade, a goatee and sunglasses indoors. Walking around the strip with a Bud Light in hand is very appropriate.
You don't really see them at the tables. Instead, they are lined up outside of Tao trying to name drop their way inside - with a party of 8 guys. Somehow their cologne stays strong through the night and even cuts through the smokiest of rooms.
Beware my friends. Hide you daughters and your hair gel.
There is no female equivalent of this since all girls wear whatever they got at Forever 21. We also don't have a distinct meathead attitude to set us apart. This is strictly a guy affliction. The cure: school uniforms.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Posted by cyndi claws at 9:40 PM