Friday, January 4, 2008

My New Year's Resolutions (if I were to believe in such a silly thing)

The title may seem confusing. Allow me to explain; I think resolutions are silly. It just gives people an excuse to put off correcting their bad habits until a pre-set date. Do we really have to wait till the ball drops in order for us to: quit smoking, exercise, bathe daily...? The answer is "no" people! That's the reason why the gym is insufferable for the first three months of the new year.

But my views on resolutions don't make for good blogging since this blog would already be over. So for the sake of journalism (and hopes of a Pulitzer) let me now share my resolutions. Here, in no specific order, are the 15 changes I proclaim to proclaim for myself:

1. Chew. I will eat not to get full, but to enjoy eating. Unless I make it on Survivor, then it's game on. But until then, I will enjoy food and the love the chefs put into it.

2. Floss. Prevents so much, yet is another obstacle to sleep. I'll have to get over that.

3. Life is too short for cheap ice cream. If I make the splurge, I'm eating the good stuff.

4. More Discovery, less MTV. Domenico will have to find love on his own.

5. I will order food to the spiciness level of the lowest common denominator. Everyone enjoys.

6. Drive less in San Gabriel. Nothing against you guys and we love your food but our chances of getting hit by a Camry increases by 25%.

7. Make use of the outdoors. People move to L.A. for the weather so I might as well make use of it. More hiking, rollerblading, fishing, anything under the sun (and moon, I'm no hater). Deciding if outdoor shopping malls should count though.

8. Have more patience with fat people. They don't move as fast as us.

9. Learn magic. It's a hit at the parties.

10. Eat breakfast on the weekends. Brunch is for lazy asses. You'll get more out of your weekend.

11. Dance. If Ellen taught me anything it's that dancing makes you happy.

12. Use my eyeshadow. I know, I know, the lady at MAC didn't force me to buy all that, but since I have it, might as well use it to the best of my meager abilities.

13. Brush up on my Spanish. It allows you to eavesdrop in Los Angeles.

14. Take a picture, it will last longer. Memories are precious, let's digitize them.

15. No cheat books. That Mario drives me nuts, but I'm no cheater.

Of course these are all open for revision (or outright neglect) since I don't believe in resolutions (hence the title). In the case these all come to fruition, it will make me a year better than I was.